my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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