Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
