Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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