You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
