Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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