mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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