Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
