She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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