its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We got so high we made milksteak
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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