so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
