So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
