Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize