I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
