Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
