therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
