I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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