I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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