I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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