the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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