Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
