Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
