Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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