She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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