if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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