I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
