Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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