He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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