Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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