He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
