as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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