There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
