First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
