I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I would ride that face into the sunset
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
