His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
