I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
