she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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