somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
