my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
