just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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