How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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