I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
