i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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