the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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