I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
