whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
