my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
