just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish i was in the wii world.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
