i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
