My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
