that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there's paper in my vomit.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
